22 February 2006

The Absent-Minded Almost-Professor

I've been very pleased with myself lately. I have been offered and I have accepted a tenure track job. This sort of job market success gives one a swelled head. One floats around on cloud nine, talking to oneself in the mirror and addressing oneself as "Assistant Professor Goetz." Despite the fact that I am now working frantically to finish my dissertation in anticipation of being a real, live, actual working adult this fall, I've still been having an extended zen moment of peace and contentment.

This evening I met a member of my dissertation committee for dinner. There were congratulatory glasses of champagne. Fine food. Giddy Rebecca extolling the virtues of new department and new colleagues. General excitement.

And as I came to my apartment door afterwards, still pleased with myself, I fished around in my pocket for my keys.

No keys.

I frowned (for the first time in days). I pawed through my purse (again, frantically).

No keys.

Re-searched pockets, purse, and other folds of cloth that might contain keys.

And, dimly, the conclusion reached into my brain: soon to be assistant professor Goetz has left her keys on her kitchen table. She has, in all her wisdom, locked herself out. Swelled head bursts with a pop and rapidly deflates as Rebecca contemplates her utter carelessness.

Half an hour and $50.00 later, I am back in my apartment. I'm really not so pleased with myself and more disgusted. And, I'm ready to do some serious dissertating.

17 Comments:

At Wednesday, February 22, 2006 11:09:00 PM, Anonymous Brett said...

Well done! (On the job thing, not the key thing :)

 
At Thursday, February 23, 2006 12:14:00 AM, Blogger kermitthefrog said...

congratulations!

 
At Thursday, February 23, 2006 11:17:00 AM, Blogger doneek said...

So glad to hear someone has actually managed to finish a diss. and get a job! I'm in the fifth year of the phd and am applying for jobs left and "write," and still haven't defended. you are an inspiration!

 
At Thursday, February 23, 2006 12:13:00 PM, Blogger Steven Taylor said...

Many congratlutions! (on the job, not the keys)

 
At Thursday, February 23, 2006 12:14:00 PM, Blogger Steven Taylor said...

make that "congratulations"...

 
At Thursday, February 23, 2006 6:44:00 PM, Blogger Dave said...

That is awesome! Congratulations!

I hope it's someplace swell with plenty of delicious food and coffee.

pata-Dave

 
At Thursday, February 23, 2006 8:36:00 PM, Blogger Caleb said...

Hurrah! Congrats!!

Both on the job, and on discovering the key to good dissertating: disgust.

Now just keep telling yourself: "Mr. Book just has to be done."

 
At Friday, February 24, 2006 1:02:00 AM, Blogger Another Damned Medievalist said...

Yay!!! Me, too!!

 
At Friday, February 24, 2006 1:26:00 AM, Anonymous New Kid on the Hallway said...

Congratulations! That's awesome! (Am so dying to know where... ;-D)

 
At Friday, February 24, 2006 9:56:00 AM, Blogger Kelly said...

Congratulations! And you've just joined the lofty ranks of "absent-minded professor" (it's a great club!)

 
At Friday, February 24, 2006 1:38:00 PM, Blogger sepoy said...

Word, UP!

 
At Saturday, February 25, 2006 10:10:00 PM, Anonymous Jeff M. said...

Congratulations! Good luck with the rest of the work, but enjoy your newly employed status!

 
At Saturday, February 25, 2006 11:24:00 PM, Anonymous Miriam said...

Congrats!

(I've locked myself out of my office several times. It's an essential element of absent-minded professordom.)

 
At Saturday, March 18, 2006 1:48:00 AM, Anonymous Jonathan Dresner said...

Mazel Tov!

(on the job, not the keys: I once had to remove a screen with a pocketknife and climb through an above-sink kitchen window to retrieve the keys I'd left on the counter because I was in a hurry....)

 
At Saturday, March 18, 2006 9:04:00 AM, Anonymous Rob MacD said...

I'm embarassed I didn't see this before Ralph linked to it. (You are not the only absent minded assistant professor around here...)

But congratulations! That is terrific. I'm very pleased, though not at all surprised.

 
At Saturday, March 18, 2006 5:12:00 PM, Blogger Hugo said...

Congratulations -- say hi to my old and dear grad school buddy Allison Sneider, who teaches women's history at Rice.

 
At Sunday, March 19, 2006 10:51:00 PM, Blogger Danny said...

First, congratulations! I'm sure you'll be a great professor.

Second, consider yourself lucky to get back into your apartment after only 30 minutes and 50 bucks. A few weekends ago my girlfriend and I locked ourselves out of apartment at 10 PM. We waited over two hours for an all-night locksmith who 1) couldn't open the door and 2) still charged us $60. Good thing we have a friend who lives on our street.

 

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